TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS

Recently I've realized that, like any other, renting an apartment is a relationship  Except in this case, you don't really know who you're dating until you're married -- or at least in a long-term relationship.

After signing a new lease in the uber-competitive rental market in which I live, I started discovering a few character flaws in my new beau.  After peeling down the layers, it became apparent that I had gotten myself (unwittingly) into an abusive relationship.

My first night was spent in my new abode last Sunday.  I awoke the following morning to find my car covered in what can best be described as sewage.  Apparently a pipe had burst in the middle of the night and soaked my car, a soft-top convertible, and had dried by the time I got to it.  The stench was unmistakable.

Upon phoning my new property's management company to find out what they were going to do to rectify the situation, and to perhaps get a simple "I'm so sorry, we'll fix it right away," I was instead greeted with something akin to "Gee, that sucks - why don't you go fuck yourself now so I can get back to my Sudoku."

Turns out that what had dumped itself so unceremoniously onto my car was not human in origin -- like that was supposed to make me feel better.  Rather, I was told it was manure meant as fertilizer from the planter above, and the faulty drain work was summarily repaired.

Suffice to say, the other "tiny" repairs haven't been any easier.  My kitchen was basically unusable for the first 10 days of my tenancy.  I've decided to stop pulling on the thread that is my new apartment so that it all doesn't unravel around me.